the light fantastic

Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

(via thelovelybones)

chemical reactions

fuckyeahkissing:

i had two first kisses. one was a chemical reaction with glowsticks and bad dancing and lost brains. thirty seconds before she left, there was the world’s smallest spark. half an hour later came the crunch, the breaking, and letting the light of truth shine dully inside: she didn’t want me. the other was the brilliant fireworks.

we’d had a complicated history. we’d fallen for each other way back when, but we didn’t know it immediately. it had hit her first, and i didn’t know what to do with the heart she’d handed me. so, i shelved it and just ignored it. then, as soon as my feelings for her hit me, i ran over to announce them. she’d moved on.

after losing so much sleep and tears over her, i figured that my world was over. out of convenience, i fell for the other girl, the one with the glowsticks. i stupidly let her take away what was rightfully someone else’s.

but then, my real first kiss, the one i start counting by, happened. on august sixteenth, she and i and a few extras hung out until the stars shone. after a long talk about how this would work and the promises we’d keep this time, i asked her to kiss me, to help me learn from my mistake. shy, she blushed it off but didn’t do anything. when we got in my driveway, though, i tried again. she was still too shy. taking budding confidence, i kissed her on the cheek and turned to leave. she caught me and then fixed the sloppy, awful ending i almost left behind.

it was stargazing and copper. it was the real chemical reaction, not the one made in preparation for the magic. i don’t believe in miracles, but i do believe in fireflies and feelings that burn like flames and i believe in her.